And the award for Captain Obvious news headline of the week goes to Today:


“Borders Parkway sale lures many”


Wow, really? We thought that a grand total of five people would turn up. It was only a  clearance sale, after all.


The newsworthiness of that article is in the closure of Borders. Not the fact that many people turned up for the sale. Dear drone who is writing these headlines, please wake up. We already have enough Captain Obvious news headlines from PAP ministers. Most of these Captain Obvious headlines are from our very own homegrown Captain Obvious Emeritus, also known as Goh Chok Tong. Y’all don’t need to contribute, ok?


Captain Obvious Grande

“If El Capitan were your editor, he would have shot you by now.”

Some Handy Pointers


Not news:

“Thousands Turned Up To Buy Cheap But Good Stuff”

Happens all the time, nothing out of the ordinary, thus… it’s not news.




“Thousands Turned Up For A Sale And Got Eaten By Zombie Hamsters”



Highly unusual, and possibly the precursor to an even bigger headline, like:

“Zombie Apocalypse Began With Hamster Carnage At Clearance Sale”



See what I mean?